It has come to my
attention and with a heavy heart that I even feel the need to make
this blog post but here goes...
Recently I was sent screen
shots of an old friend speaking ill of myself, my husband, and Team
Muzzy.
While I search for the
truths in the post and comments much of it is inaccurate.
So I want to set the
record straight and square things away for those who may not know any
better.
First and foremost I wish
this life on no one, We would give anything to go back. I would
gladly switch lives with anyone to have my husband whole again. To be
at HOME cuddling with our dogs. I would much rather have stayed at my
amazing job then have to let my husband feel helpless and turn into
his caregiver verses his wife. Despite everything we have been
through we still feel blessed! After all we get to spend more time
together now and our bond is stronger then anything anyone could
imagine.
Let start with getting his
injuries correct. Cory is blind in BOTH eyes. He will never see clear
or detailed again, never, for the rest of his life. Think of it this
way take a zip lock bag and fold it in half twice. This is what he
sees on a good day, most of the time less especially after surgeries,
which are still on going. With the oil in his eye add water to that
zip lock bag and that's what he sees. Oil distorts things more just
like the water in the bag. Tape that to your face and see how well
you can get around and what you can achieve. He will never drive
again. He will also never grow his legs back. Sure there are
prosthesis but so many factors go into that besides learning how to
walk, your residual limb can swell or shrink making for and
ill-fitting prosthetic. Resulting in being stuck in a wheelchair.
Apparently I have my hand
out for hand outs and I'm taking advantage of our situation because I
keep having one fundraiser after another and have raised $75,000.
Man oh man how I wish that
was true! If that was the case I wouldn't have to fund-raise.
Because of this inaccurate
information I feel the need to fill everyone in with the amounts and
where they went, no I don't have too, no its no ones business, but
I'm sure it will ease everyone knowing their donations went toward
what we said they would.
Also I have not held not
one fundraiser, people come to me asking if they can, I say yes.
I have however thrown a
thank you party for all the support.
TSLGI: Yes we got it and
were advised to put them into CD's. CD's can't be touched for 5
years. We made a mistake in doing that and didn't think about the
struggles we would have in the future. That's what happens when you
make choices in the mist of chaos.
The original Fundraiser
was immediately set up by a couple of friends named Roxy &
Stephanie. If it hadn't been for this fundraiser we would have been
straight up screwed. Everyone thinks the military takes care of you,
but they don't. About $22,000 was raised. Duke is located an hour and
a half away from our home. Cory was at Duke for a month in half.
Money was spent on the gas. Money was spent on lodging for when I
wanted to take a shower. Money was spent on food. Money was spent on
parking which was $6/7/day depending on if you did valet or not. We
were told by the Army we would get per diem for 15 days. 6 months
later we had to fight to get that refunded and it wasn't even 1/3 of
what we spent. We also paid for his parents plane tickets in which
the Army said they would refund and never did. We also paid for his
brothers gas to come down and help his parents move from New Mexico
to North Carolina. Money was spent on moving them and all that
entails. His mom and myself both lost our jobs and bills still had to
be paid. Money was spent on them bringing our vehicle here to us in
TX.
All of that money is gone
and that's is everything it was spent on.
Stephanie also set up the
online booster T shirt fundraiser which $1500 was made all of which
went to bills, food, gas.
The next fundraiser was
set up by Kate and Mr. Barefoot at the Railroad steak house where
about $3100 was raised. All those monies went to bills and travel
expenses to bring his 1st son down when we went home on
leave in September.
The next fundraiser was a
craft fair put on by Dawn and her family. $1171 was made in that
fundraiser and has yet to be used because we haven't received it yet.
This money will go toward the house.
The Votaw family created a
gofundme account where people could donate to the house fund. No
money from this has been used (so far its about $300 last I checked)
this is going toward the house.
Sampson County 4H raised
around $600 in which was used on gas/food.
Around $600 was raised
through the magnets and is going toward the house.
Currently there are three
online fundraisers by Danielle, Niki, & Sandra for Herbalife,
Oragami Owl, and Younique products. They are still ongoing. Anything
made from then will be going toward the house.
We were approved for a VA
Housing Adaptation grant that is paid directly to the VA contractor
for $65,000. The blue prints just for one portion of the house to be
adapted came out to $73,000. That's to extend part of the house,
adapt the kitchen, one bathroom, and a hallway and does not include
the other hallway, the other bathroom, and the laundry room. Per ADA
requirements he has to have 2 exits and in that estimate a back deck
and ramp is included. Anything the grant does not pay for we are
responsible for paying. So as it stands we are responsible for $8,000
as is. Thats not even including the things not covered which we have
yet to get the quote on. Which would finish the house and make it
100% accessible. I don't know about you but I would just like for my
husband to be able to get around his home as much as possible with
the least amount of help so that maybe one day and I can go have a
job again. I don't want a new custom built home, I am perfectly happy
with staying in our home that's been in the family for over ten
years. We have no plans on moving, that's our home and we just want
it accessible and I don't think that is an unreasonable thing to ask
for. Should we have to go into debt to make it happen? We will if we
have too. Just because were in TX for rehab doesn't mean we can stop
paying our mortgage. We sure as hell aren't going to sell it either.
Please tell me how he should be forced to live in a home were he cant
even bath, fit through doors, or turn in hallways... that makes no
sense to me and is unfair of you to blow things out of proportion.
Another thing the fund
raising will help pay for is the lodging of our 3 dogs at doggy boot
camp while the house is being remodeled and a storage POD for that
duration.
So far that's about
$29,000 out of fundraisers. That has gone to everything mentioned
above.
We are extremely grateful
for everyone's help no matter how much we didn't want help we needed
it and could not have gotten by with out it. Seriously Thank you!
I am prob leaving stuff
out that I can't remember but you get the gist.
Its not easy asking for
help when your normally the one giving and anyone that knows me knows
how true that is.
As for the various other
things we have been given.
The life of a Wounded
Warrior.
Your injured and
transferred to a WTB/WTU. (Warrior Transition Battalion)
You are still active duty
and receive the same pay you always do.
In our case I lost my job
to be his caretaker.
Before your assigned, if
your just attached you can receive NMA (non-medical
attendent/caregiver pay) this isn't even close to the income I
previously made.
Once your assigned you can
no longer receive this but they then start you on SCADDLE.
SCADDLE is pay based on
the level of tier you qualify for.
Cory is high level tier
which means he still needs a lot of help.
As he advances and gets
better the tiers go down. Which means the amount of money received
changes.
This amount is still less
then my previous income.
Now try managing 2
household with that and see how well you do. How stressful that can
be.
That's the extent of help
you get from the military.
Once your finally done
with surgeries they will then start your MEB board process if your
wanting to medically discharge. We haven't stated this yet and prob
wont for some time. This process alone take 12-18 months we have been
told. There is a time between getting discharged and the VA starting
up where your can possibly receive no pay for up to 6 months. Manage
that!
The military provides you
with healthcare that you tech pay for. It is not free contrary to
popular belief. Tricare pays for everything since it was a military
connected accident.
In the beginning I had to
submit claims and proof.
Another fight to make sure
he was covered properly.
Your job in the WTB is to
heal and get better.
Your still required to
check in/formations.
You still have to do
ridiculous amounts of paperwork every month.
They are still active
duty.
Every day he has physical
therapy for 2 hours, occupational therapy for 1 hour, and various
appointments with the ophthalmology clinic, TBI clinic, Audiology
clinic, Nero & Neru clinics, social work, psychologist, PMC
visits, pain management visits, and surgeries scattered throughout
that puts holds on his rehab process anywhere from 2-4 weeks at a
time, not to mention the amount of time we waste at the pharmacy
picking up all his medications and eye drops that he takes 4x a day.
Insert organizations and
trips.
As a wounded warrior a lot
of opportunity open up for you. Some things that are offered almost
daily here at Ft. Sam are almost daily events at the Warrior Family
Support Center also known as the WFSC. Here they hold dinners,
bingo's, it's also where celebrities often come to meet the wounded.
They also hold small
classes for various activities, they also have a media center, and
you can rent movies or games. This is also where you go to use HERO
MILES which is a program that provide plane tickets to the wounded
and their families at no cost.
The Center for Intrepid
(CFI) also works closely with the Wounded Warrior Project (WWP).
Another amazing program for Americas wounded. Through them and the
CFI Recreational therapist we went on a Wounded Warrior Annual Trip
to Rochester, NY with 40 other wounded and families. On this trip we
learned how to travel on plane and bus being disabled. It wasn't easy
but we got it done. It was a very overwhelming trip for Cory. Through
the WWP we have gotten a bunch of gear. (shirts, backpack, hats etc)
They also helped get a eye dropper guide, and handle bar extender so
I would stop bending over to push Cory's wheel chair since it's too
short and to save my lower back. We also attended a 8 hour peer
mentoring class held by WWP. So that we can help people in like
situations.
The Armed Forces
Foundation stepped forward in the beginning and provided Cory with a
scooter, which he uses to get around at his parents house.
Sew much comfort is a
organization that adapts clothes at no cost to the wounded, Cory
loves his Velcro pants! (I am going to take the rest of his pants to
a tailor to get adapted in the same way)
L.I.F.E is an amazing
organization that helps you locate a accessible place to stay and
make any accommodations that need doing such as installing handle
bars in the shower, a detachable shower head, and wall guards to make
ease of access and less worrying over damaging the walls with the
wheelchair.
Veterans Airlift Command
is a great organization that has volunteer pilot's! This organization
was introduced to us by the CFI and our psychologist, Jorge. We were
able to fly on private jets round trip our first time back home since
the accident. Which also cut down on the amount of germs Cory would
come into contact with, unlike the NY trip in which he got super sick
when we got back.
The Americas Fund has been
the most helpful organization we have ever come across. They have
helped us by getting us house furnishings such as, couch, coffee/end
tables, lamps, love seat, dining table set, bed, & washer/dryer
set. They helped us with first months rent and deposit. They will be
helping us financially starting next month as well! They will be
paying our mortgage back home so we can afford rent here. Which is a
huge stress relief for both of us. Its impossible to pay for both
with the income we make now. We are extremely thankful for this
organization and we would be in debt with out their help. They are
offering to help contribute to the contractor to help us finish
paying for the house renovations as well. Simply amazing. Every time
I think of this organization I just want to cry because they are so
amazing and with out them we couldn't be focused on Cory getting
better with all the other worries.
Take the time to check out
these amazing organizations an see how you can help them because they
truly help Americas wounded warriors. NO wounded would be able to get
by without some organizations help, its just the facts of life, that
is what they are there for!
Next once he finally goes
through the MEB board process to be medically discharged (prob not
for another year) he will get 2 ratings one from the military and one
from the VA. We suspect he will get 100% VA but nothing is ever
guaranteed and have no clue what the military rating will be. We can
appeal the process if we have to or they forget something which I
hear is very common and to be prepare to do so at least once to make
sure all injuries are listed so they are always covered. Cory, and
myself will have Tricare for life. Both of his sons will be covered
by Tricare until they reach 18 or finish college. His sons will also
have 4 years of education paid for assuming he gets 100% VA rating
using CH35 benefits. If he chooses to apply for social security
benefits, SS will pay for a portion of child support. His sons will
also have various death benefits for when ever that time comes.
Media Coverage is not
something I could have controlled, from the get go Cory was a big
deal. Our goal through the media coverage is to help people in
similar situations, to know they aren't alone, and where they can
seek help, and letting them know they are strong enough to overcome
whatever happen to them. If you don't like it then ignore it and move
on. It isn't for you. It's for that person/s who's life has just been
ripped out from under them. I pray that you may never know what its
like.
As for the reason why all
this came about. I apologize for not participating in the ALS
challenge you called me out in. I was not in a position to
participate or donate. I had a lot on my plate at the time and we
just got to Texas and were amputating his left foot. What makes one
think were in a position to donate when were seeking help is beyond
me. We fully intend to pay forward when we are in a position to do
so, now's just not it. It's rude of you to suggest otherwise and
hurtful to think you know me so little. You ma'am have shown your
true colors, I don't take kindly to liars and I pray that everyone
seeks the facts for themselves. I hope I have squared things away
for those who may have any questions. We are a open book please ask
away we have nothing to hide.
I apologize for the length
on this blog but I wanted to set the record straight.
Love, Team Muzzy
