The Muzzy World

It has come to my attention and with a heavy heart that I even feel the need to make this blog post but here goes...

Recently I was sent screen shots of an old friend speaking ill of myself, my husband, and Team Muzzy.

While I search for the truths in the post and comments much of it is inaccurate.

So I want to set the record straight and square things away for those who may not know any better.

First and foremost I wish this life on no one, We would give anything to go back. I would gladly switch lives with anyone to have my husband whole again. To be at HOME cuddling with our dogs. I would much rather have stayed at my amazing job then have to let my husband feel helpless and turn into his caregiver verses his wife. Despite everything we have been through we still feel blessed! After all we get to spend more time together now and our bond is stronger then anything anyone could imagine.

Let start with getting his injuries correct. Cory is blind in BOTH eyes. He will never see clear or detailed again, never, for the rest of his life. Think of it this way take a zip lock bag and fold it in half twice. This is what he sees on a good day, most of the time less especially after surgeries, which are still on going. With the oil in his eye add water to that zip lock bag and that's what he sees. Oil distorts things more just like the water in the bag. Tape that to your face and see how well you can get around and what you can achieve. He will never drive again. He will also never grow his legs back. Sure there are prosthesis but so many factors go into that besides learning how to walk, your residual limb can swell or shrink making for and ill-fitting prosthetic. Resulting in being stuck in a wheelchair.

Apparently I have my hand out for hand outs and I'm taking advantage of our situation because I keep having one fundraiser after another and have raised $75,000.

Man oh man how I wish that was true! If that was the case I wouldn't have to fund-raise.

Because of this inaccurate information I feel the need to fill everyone in with the amounts and where they went, no I don't have too, no its no ones business, but I'm sure it will ease everyone knowing their donations went toward what we said they would.

Also I have not held not one fundraiser, people come to me asking if they can, I say yes.

I have however thrown a thank you party for all the support.

TSLGI: Yes we got it and were advised to put them into CD's. CD's can't be touched for 5 years. We made a mistake in doing that and didn't think about the struggles we would have in the future. That's what happens when you make choices in the mist of chaos.

The original Fundraiser was immediately set up by a couple of friends named Roxy & Stephanie. If it hadn't been for this fundraiser we would have been straight up screwed. Everyone thinks the military takes care of you, but they don't. About $22,000 was raised. Duke is located an hour and a half away from our home. Cory was at Duke for a month in half. Money was spent on the gas. Money was spent on lodging for when I wanted to take a shower. Money was spent on food. Money was spent on parking which was $6/7/day depending on if you did valet or not. We were told by the Army we would get per diem for 15 days. 6 months later we had to fight to get that refunded and it wasn't even 1/3 of what we spent. We also paid for his parents plane tickets in which the Army said they would refund and never did. We also paid for his brothers gas to come down and help his parents move from New Mexico to North Carolina. Money was spent on moving them and all that entails. His mom and myself both lost our jobs and bills still had to be paid. Money was spent on them bringing our vehicle here to us in TX.

All of that money is gone and that's is everything it was spent on.

Stephanie also set up the online booster T shirt fundraiser which $1500 was made all of which went to bills, food, gas.

The next fundraiser was set up by Kate and Mr. Barefoot at the Railroad steak house where about $3100 was raised. All those monies went to bills and travel expenses to bring his 1^st son down when we went home on leave in September.

The next fundraiser was a craft fair put on by Dawn and her family. $1171 was made in that fundraiser and has yet to be used because we haven't received it yet. This money will go toward the house.

The Votaw family created a gofundme account where people could donate to the house fund. No money from this has been used (so far its about $300 last I checked) this is going toward the house.

Sampson County 4H raised around $600 in which was used on gas/food.

Around $600 was raised through the magnets and is going toward the house.

Currently there are three online fundraisers by Danielle, Niki, & Sandra for Herbalife, Oragami Owl, and Younique products. They are still ongoing. Anything made from then will be going toward the house.

We were approved for a VA Housing Adaptation grant that is paid directly to the VA contractor for $65,000. The blue prints just for one portion of the house to be adapted came out to $73,000. That's to extend part of the house, adapt the kitchen, one bathroom, and a hallway and does not include the other hallway, the other bathroom, and the laundry room. Per ADA requirements he has to have 2 exits and in that estimate a back deck and ramp is included. Anything the grant does not pay for we are responsible for paying. So as it stands we are responsible for $8,000 as is. Thats not even including the things not covered which we have yet to get the quote on. Which would finish the house and make it 100% accessible. I don't know about you but I would just like for my husband to be able to get around his home as much as possible with the least amount of help so that maybe one day and I can go have a job again. I don't want a new custom built home, I am perfectly happy with staying in our home that's been in the family for over ten years. We have no plans on moving, that's our home and we just want it accessible and I don't think that is an unreasonable thing to ask for. Should we have to go into debt to make it happen? We will if we have too. Just because were in TX for rehab doesn't mean we can stop paying our mortgage. We sure as hell aren't going to sell it either. Please tell me how he should be forced to live in a home were he cant even bath, fit through doors, or turn in hallways... that makes no sense to me and is unfair of you to blow things out of proportion.

Another thing the fund raising will help pay for is the lodging of our 3 dogs at doggy boot camp while the house is being remodeled and a storage POD for that duration.

So far that's about $29,000 out of fundraisers. That has gone to everything mentioned above.

We are extremely grateful for everyone's help no matter how much we didn't want help we needed it and could not have gotten by with out it. Seriously Thank you!

I am prob leaving stuff out that I can't remember but you get the gist.

Its not easy asking for help when your normally the one giving and anyone that knows me knows how true that is.

As for the various other things we have been given.

The life of a Wounded Warrior.

Your injured and transferred to a WTB/WTU. (Warrior Transition Battalion)

You are still active duty and receive the same pay you always do.

In our case I lost my job to be his caretaker.

Before your assigned, if your just attached you can receive NMA (non-medical attendent/caregiver pay) this isn't even close to the income I previously made.

Once your assigned you can no longer receive this but they then start you on SCADDLE.

SCADDLE is pay based on the level of tier you qualify for.

Cory is high level tier which means he still needs a lot of help.

As he advances and gets better the tiers go down. Which means the amount of money received changes.

This amount is still less then my previous income.

Now try managing 2 household with that and see how well you do. How stressful that can be.

That's the extent of help you get from the military.

Once your finally done with surgeries they will then start your MEB board process if your wanting to medically discharge. We haven't stated this yet and prob wont for some time. This process alone take 12-18 months we have been told. There is a time between getting discharged and the VA starting up where your can possibly receive no pay for up to 6 months. Manage that!

The military provides you with healthcare that you tech pay for. It is not free contrary to popular belief. Tricare pays for everything since it was a military connected accident.

In the beginning I had to submit claims and proof.

Another fight to make sure he was covered properly.

Your job in the WTB is to heal and get better.

Your still required to check in/formations.

You still have to do ridiculous amounts of paperwork every month.

They are still active duty.

Every day he has physical therapy for 2 hours, occupational therapy for 1 hour, and various appointments with the ophthalmology clinic, TBI clinic, Audiology clinic, Nero & Neru clinics, social work, psychologist, PMC visits, pain management visits, and surgeries scattered throughout that puts holds on his rehab process anywhere from 2-4 weeks at a time, not to mention the amount of time we waste at the pharmacy picking up all his medications and eye drops that he takes 4x a day.

Insert organizations and trips.

As a wounded warrior a lot of opportunity open up for you. Some things that are offered almost daily here at Ft. Sam are almost daily events at the Warrior Family Support Center also known as the WFSC. Here they hold dinners, bingo's, it's also where celebrities often come to meet the wounded.

They also hold small classes for various activities, they also have a media center, and you can rent movies or games. This is also where you go to use HERO MILES which is a program that provide plane tickets to the wounded and their families at no cost.

The Center for Intrepid (CFI) also works closely with the Wounded Warrior Project (WWP). Another amazing program for Americas wounded. Through them and the CFI Recreational therapist we went on a Wounded Warrior Annual Trip to Rochester, NY with 40 other wounded and families. On this trip we learned how to travel on plane and bus being disabled. It wasn't easy but we got it done. It was a very overwhelming trip for Cory. Through the WWP we have gotten a bunch of gear. (shirts, backpack, hats etc) They also helped get a eye dropper guide, and handle bar extender so I would stop bending over to push Cory's wheel chair since it's too short and to save my lower back. We also attended a 8 hour peer mentoring class held by WWP. So that we can help people in like situations.

The Armed Forces Foundation stepped forward in the beginning and provided Cory with a scooter, which he uses to get around at his parents house.

Sew much comfort is a organization that adapts clothes at no cost to the wounded, Cory loves his Velcro pants! (I am going to take the rest of his pants to a tailor to get adapted in the same way)

L.I.F.E is an amazing organization that helps you locate a accessible place to stay and make any accommodations that need doing such as installing handle bars in the shower, a detachable shower head, and wall guards to make ease of access and less worrying over damaging the walls with the wheelchair.

Veterans Airlift Command is a great organization that has volunteer pilot's! This organization was introduced to us by the CFI and our psychologist, Jorge. We were able to fly on private jets round trip our first time back home since the accident. Which also cut down on the amount of germs Cory would come into contact with, unlike the NY trip in which he got super sick when we got back.

The Americas Fund has been the most helpful organization we have ever come across. They have helped us by getting us house furnishings such as, couch, coffee/end tables, lamps, love seat, dining table set, bed, & washer/dryer set. They helped us with first months rent and deposit. They will be helping us financially starting next month as well! They will be paying our mortgage back home so we can afford rent here. Which is a huge stress relief for both of us. Its impossible to pay for both with the income we make now. We are extremely thankful for this organization and we would be in debt with out their help. They are offering to help contribute to the contractor to help us finish paying for the house renovations as well. Simply amazing. Every time I think of this organization I just want to cry because they are so amazing and with out them we couldn't be focused on Cory getting better with all the other worries.

Take the time to check out these amazing organizations an see how you can help them because they truly help Americas wounded warriors. NO wounded would be able to get by without some organizations help, its just the facts of life, that is what they are there for!

Next once he finally goes through the MEB board process to be medically discharged (prob not for another year) he will get 2 ratings one from the military and one from the VA. We suspect he will get 100% VA but nothing is ever guaranteed and have no clue what the military rating will be. We can appeal the process if we have to or they forget something which I hear is very common and to be prepare to do so at least once to make sure all injuries are listed so they are always covered. Cory, and myself will have Tricare for life. Both of his sons will be covered by Tricare until they reach 18 or finish college. His sons will also have 4 years of education paid for assuming he gets 100% VA rating using CH35 benefits. If he chooses to apply for social security benefits, SS will pay for a portion of child support. His sons will also have various death benefits for when ever that time comes.

Media Coverage is not something I could have controlled, from the get go Cory was a big deal. Our goal through the media coverage is to help people in similar situations, to know they aren't alone, and where they can seek help, and letting them know they are strong enough to overcome whatever happen to them. If you don't like it then ignore it and move on. It isn't for you. It's for that person/s who's life has just been ripped out from under them. I pray that you may never know what its like.

As for the reason why all this came about. I apologize for not participating in the ALS challenge you called me out in. I was not in a position to participate or donate. I had a lot on my plate at the time and we just got to Texas and were amputating his left foot. What makes one think were in a position to donate when were seeking help is beyond me. We fully intend to pay forward when we are in a position to do so, now's just not it. It's rude of you to suggest otherwise and hurtful to think you know me so little. You ma'am have shown your true colors, I don't take kindly to liars and I pray that everyone seeks the facts for themselves. I hope I have squared things away for those who may have any questions. We are a open book please ask away we have nothing to hide.

I apologize for the length on this blog but I wanted to set the record straight.

Love, Team Muzzy