The Muzzy World

I have fallen off the grid.

 

I have been having bad dreams almost every night.

 

I feel gloomy.

 

My weight loss is really weight gain.

 

I am stressed out and feel like my life is kind of of spiraling out of control.

 

The thing is... nothing has changed really besides my habits.

 

I have been calling and calling leaving messages to try and get my specialty appointment for the infertility and no one returns my call. What am I suppose to do?

 

I am afraid for my well paying job because the husband is suppose to retire "soon" but they haven't said when and if they were or weren't going to need me.

 

All I can do is start to save money until the let me go.

Although Cory and I talked about quitting if I became pregnant right before the child would be born.

 

I am worried about his re-enlistment in the Army. What his job will be and if we will be moved and where... the moving will be very stressful on me but I refuse to be without my husband if I can be.

 

I am a military brat, I grew up military and have always had my foot in the door. I know what everything entails. its nothing new for me. However I own a house now and that's a whole new ball game for me to deal with.

 

I am almost back at the weight I was 2 years ago it makes me sad and I just keep doing worse and worse. I keep choosing to be fat over being the confident healthy person I want to be.

The person I was when I married my husband in June.

 

I feel over whelmed.

 

I need to snap out of this bullshit.

 

I need to feel better.

 

I need to be better.

 

I need help.

 

I will get better.

 

Never give up.