It has now been 20 days since I was awaken at 4:30 am to the worst news I have ever received in my life. It's hard to describe the sinking feeling, the lump in your throat, the uneasiness, and the capability to produce words from your mouth unless you have gone through something like this. You never for a second think anything can happen while our soldiers are at home lets alone to yours. I couldn't focus or comprehend. I was shaking and on auto pilot at the same time. A few deep breaths and I was able to pull myself together. MY husband has been involved in a training accident and I needed to get to the ER ASAP. Focus, call your cousin Amanda, get ready, let the dogs out, & GO. I was taken to a conference room where the bad news was delivered. At that time he had a brain bleed, broken right forearm, amputated right leg to the knee, possible amputation of his left was a possibility as well, and was blind in both eyes. I was ok with everything till he told me he was blind. I felt like it was so unfair to have all that wrong with him and for him to be blind too. I knew we could handle the other stuff just fine but him being blind scared me to death. My motto started then... "He is alive and that's all I could ask for, we will get through this" They took me up to a private ICU waiting room and there were cami's upon cami's that came to talk to me as well as doctors. The trauma doctor came to speak with us and told me it was really touch and go and he got a lot of blood as well, she was surprised he was stable. In no just terms she told me I was lucky he was still here. Then it was time... as an awkward line of doctors, nurses, and men in cami's stared at me, I got to see my husband for the first time. I know they were waiting for me to crumble. That sir is just not who I am. I held his hand and let him know I was here now, that I loved him, and things will be ok eventually, just to keep fighting for me. I never want to see my husband like that again. He was drenched in blood and dirt. a ventilator was breathing for him, pumping his chest up and down. He was swollen, his lips were so big I thought they would burst. his head was wrapped in gauze and he has staples on a cut on his forehead. hey had his body covered but I could see the outline of his missing leg. it literally broke my fucking heart but I refused to loose it in front of him in case he knew I was there or could in fact hear me. I needed/need to be his rock end of story. He is alive and he needs me. I went back to the waiting room, sat down numbly. The tears started. My cousin, my aunt, and my amazing boss and friend where by my side and took care of everything. I am so thankful to have had them there. It was all a haze, so many people talked to me, so many doctors, car managers, men in cami's with different jobs and ranks. I will never remember them all or be able to organize which business card goes with who. I had 2 amazing chaplains who have been with me through this whole thing I will call them chap S and chap C. They were simply amazing! Cory needed to be transferred to another hospital who could better accommodate all his needs for what was wrong with him. They settled on Duke and found room for him there. I have never heard anything bad about Duke and everyone has always said great things so I knew we would be in good hands. The EMS team came from Duke and picked him up. After chap retrieved Cory's personal effects for me we headed home so I could pack some over night things. By the time we made it to Duke they has already corrected his brain bleed! He had several more surgeries that lasted all the way into 3am. Duke has been working on him non-stop and I have nothing but nice things to say about Duke and Dr. Shipiro and his teams. They are the best of the best. (at least in my eyes) in these 20 days Cory has come soooooo far! He is in recovery mode. He still has many surgeries left but I know we will be ok no matter what. He has a long road to full recovery but it is attainable. please keep praying for us and especially his eyes! if you would like to follow his journey please visit his Team Muzzy page. There you can also find links to fundraisers to donate, get shirts, magnets/stickers, or just leave message/prayers.
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