Hellllllllo 2014!!!

Happy New Year Everyone!

A couple of weeks ago I decided January 1st would be the start of me getting back on track.

I had time to get things out of my system.

This is my 2nd attempt on changing my lifestyle.

It worked last time until I just gave up 100%.

I now know how real insulin resistance is with PCOS and how big the role of food plays in my life.

In 6 months of being off the life that was good for me I quickly put back on 32 pounds!

Holy cow!

I started Metiformin and prenatal vitamins today too.

(which sitting here, my memory returns about how "shitty" it is taking this drug)

2013 was a great year for me! However, I am glad its gone and ready for this new year!

I have weighed in, measured and took my before pictures.

Not feeling good about myself at all.

in case you cant see its 202.6 lbs

On to less humiliating stuff!!!

We finally got a new dishwasher thanks to a friend catching it on a yard sale group!

Its amazing and works better then the one we had even before it broke!

We also got different coffee/end tables! 

My husband (the best one in the whole universe) got me a new ride!

Yesterday I was gifted with a 2012 Chevy Transverse!!!

She wasn't even on the lot to sell yet!!!

I named her Lola and she will be ready for me on Friday! 

I can't wait!!!

I don't think their's any better way to start a new year then in your dream ride do you?

We had a really great holiday season this year and I hope you did too!

We are so blessed and thankful!!!

Love, the silly Muzzy's!

Recap from my first REI appointment.

First off I doubt Womack will ever stick to an apt time. 

I was finally seen an hour past my appointment time and was 20 mins early.

She got my history asked a million questions. Which I expected.

Cory and I need to both get some labs done. (which he happen to go in and do today)

He also needs to do a semen analysis test. (which he will do tomorrow)

Then I still need to do a HSG test since its been so long since my last one.

HSG test is a test where they run contrast dye through my ovaries, Fallopian tubes, uterus, and vagina to check for blockages. 

What fun! NOT! That junk hurt so bad last time.

In January if I haven't had a menstrual cycle, I am to call in so she can start me on some provera. 

Provera is an oral medication that induces your menstrual cycle. 

Then I give radiology a ring on day 1 of my cycle to make the HSG apt for days 7-12 of my cycle.

It's been said that sometimes your odds of conceiving are improved after the test for up to a year.

I don't know how true that is though.

after I complete the HSG test and other labs and Cory completes his part I am to call back.

She said that appointment is when we will make a plan and start with clomid.

She put me back on metiformn and I have to build myself up to 2000mg.

metiformn use to make me really sick so I am not looking forward to that again.

However my moto is... I'm doing this for a baby, for my dreams to come true.

Honestly, no matter how much things hurt or complicated things get, I'll always try.

I picked up my script today.

It makes me nervous.

So, I guess I will start tmw.

Can someone remind me of what it is that makes you more sick while taking this medication?

sugar, bread? 

I am suppose to have half days for work tmw and friday so I'll go do my other labs tmw.

Friday I get to go spend it with my little sister after work! I am excited lol 

It will also be nice to not be alone on the 2 year anniversary of my fathers death. 

I am so ready to start my vacation!!!!

PAY IT FORWARD MOVEMENT

Family #1

Hey my name is Randy here is my story I'm sure you have gotten a pile of them by now. April the 14th I tore the tendons in my left foot and broke the cartilage in my ankle I work as a captain at a fire dept and have been out of work since I had a nerve conduction test done last Wednesday and actually got the results today I have severe nerve damage in my foot and will have to more and likely resighn at work depending on my next Dr appt my sick leave and vac time are gone and also had 13 weeks of short term disibility is also gone my wife is trying her best to keep us afloat and I have been repairing tractors and mowers at home to make what I can but still behind on everything my wife and I have 5 children Crystal 20 Charity 19 John 15 Cathy 16 and Layla 15 months. thanks for your time .

(picture to come soon)

Family #2

I'm a mother of 4 battling renal cell carcinoma, adrenal insufficiency, hypo thyroidism.  I no longer can work.  My husband is on SSI for degenerative disk disease, they only pay him 619.00 mo.  I have no insurance, have applied to Medicaid and disability, but have been turned down several times.  
My uncle was living with us to help with housing expense, but he became terminally ill and left to go home to die in New Hampshire.  We are now behind on our rent and our landlord told us today is the deadline.  I have posted several pleas for help, but no one was able to assist, however I am grateful for all the prayers and information people have sent.  Stress is one of the biggest causes of my medical status.  I buy my meds in small quantities, because I'm unable to pay them at one time.  I am a self pay to my doctor or she doesn't see me.    My younger daughters try to help by making loom bracelets and selling them.  We know we may have a Christmas without gifts this year, but at least we would like to stay in our home which is dedicated to God.  We know that the true meaning of Christmas is the love of God.  I once was the seed shower and I still try with whatever I can, but now I'm on the opposite side of the fence.   Looking for our Christmas miracle.  I'm sending from my cellular I don't have internet in our home, so if the photos don't post I'm sorry.  There is more to our story, but it is too long to write.

  

Family #3

We are a family of four and my husband hours have been cut . Also I haven't been able to work since I'm currently in school and still cant find a job. It would be a god send to get help with rent versus presents because a roof over our heads is better than materialistic things. These pics were taken at a cousins wedding. If you need any info please don't hesitate to email.

(oped out pictures for privacy reasons)

Family #4

On Dec. 15th my family and I have to vacate a house that we have called "home" since 2007.

I did not bother putting up a Christmas tree, since we would be moving and the children do not
understand. I was laid off from my job of 3 years due to economic factors and unemployment is a fraction of my normal paycheck. Our only means of transportation ended up in the scrap yard, as it was more expensive to repair the transmission, than what I paid for the car, besides we needed the money for food. I am asking that if you have been at the bottom looking up, are a member of the working poor or if you have been blessed beyond measure and can help, please consider helping my family. I am trying to raise enough money to secure a rental for my family and a used car for transportation as well. If anyone needs proof that this is a legitimate request, I have copies of the Chap. 7 Bankruptcy and the order to vacate the property through the local court. I am praying that God will bless this request and touch those that read it.


http://www.gofundme.com/Help-The-Lambert-Family

Thank You For Reading.

If you would like to help any of these families in any way shape or form please email me at besaw2003@yahoo.com

Anything helps!

 So...

I have basically thrown 2 years of hard work down the drain.

I regained most of the weight I lost.

essentially I gave up on myself due to many factors in my life.

What now?

Do I continue to spiral down ward?

or

fight again... and keep on fighting? 

How could I have let this happen?

I am disappointed and ashamed.

DISGUSTED in myself.

I fell right back into old habits.

I'm not sure if I'm ready to feel better.

Sometimes I don't even feel like I deserve to be a success story.

Is that why I sabotage myself when I get so close?

I have to start back over.

I have to begin all over again.

it's so hard.

I know it's worth it though, because I miss how great I felt.

I want to feel that way again.

I know what I need to do...

why is it so hard to do? 

Today is awesome sauce!

I have been trying to see a fertility specialist since August.

I had to jump through hoops and do a bunch of stuff just to get to this point.

I have my first appointment next week!

It upsets me that is was so easy in Hawaii to get things done. 

It's taken at least 3 months just to get to make the appointment.

wish me tons of luck!

I am ready to start actually doing something!!!

I have fallen off the grid.

 

I have been having bad dreams almost every night.

 

I feel gloomy.

 

My weight loss is really weight gain.

 

I am stressed out and feel like my life is kind of of spiraling out of control.

 

The thing is... nothing has changed really besides my habits.

 

I have been calling and calling leaving messages to try and get my specialty appointment for the infertility and no one returns my call. What am I suppose to do?

 

I am afraid for my well paying job because the husband is suppose to retire "soon" but they haven't said when and if they were or weren't going to need me.

 

All I can do is start to save money until the let me go.

Although Cory and I talked about quitting if I became pregnant right before the child would be born.

 

I am worried about his re-enlistment in the Army. What his job will be and if we will be moved and where... the moving will be very stressful on me but I refuse to be without my husband if I can be.

 

I am a military brat, I grew up military and have always had my foot in the door. I know what everything entails. its nothing new for me. However I own a house now and that's a whole new ball game for me to deal with.

 

I am almost back at the weight I was 2 years ago it makes me sad and I just keep doing worse and worse. I keep choosing to be fat over being the confident healthy person I want to be.

The person I was when I married my husband in June.

 

I feel over whelmed.

 

I need to snap out of this bullshit.

 

I need to feel better.

 

I need to be better.

 

I need help.

 

I will get better.

 

Never give up.

 



I have been slacking big time.

I am not being the person I want to be or even thinking like the person I strive for these days.

Lets be honest. Since the wedding in June I have been depressed and packed on 30 pounds.

It was so nice having everyone together at once and I miss it.

I am having trouble bouncing back.

I derailed during that time.

I ate any and everything with no holds bard.

Totally derailing myself from my life change.

I keep telling myself its OK, I'm OK, and I'm not.  

I am ashamed, disappointed and disgusted in myself.

I have GOT to change things around.

1. for myself.

2. for my family

3. for my unconceived child

4. for the self esteem

5. for the energy

6. for the progress

7. to be healed inside out

The holidays are here and this will be the hardest time for me. 

I have faith I can make these changes, I have before, I can again.

I will never give up on myself.

Do better. Expect Better.